In the beginning I never saw us as something big. To me we were nothing to get serious about... but somewhere along the way I fell unbelievably in love with you. I know I wasn't always the best at showing it, but I really tried more than I ever had before. I realize now the moments I pushed you away, quite honestly I was terrified of me loving you so much. I was so afraid to lose you and somehow I did. I will always love you more than you can even imagine. To this day I don't understand how I could have let you let me go so easily that night. I truly regret it but at the same time i'm not sure there was much I could do... Now it seems our time is up and your mind is made up, we're over. I miss you quite terribly but i'm trying my hardest to keep away. I can't help myself from making small talk every now and then but i'm trying. Each time I see you I want to cry and wrap my arms around you, I restrain myself. Each night as I lay restlessly crying over you and I want to pick up my phone to call you, I hold myself back. From what i've heard you've moved on nicely, I bet she's beautiful. She's yours so she's got to be. You deserve more than the world has to offer and I wish I had been good enough to meet that. About a month after you ended us I was told that you were telling people I had cheated on you... this broke my heart even more. I could never cheat on you, I would never have the strength to do such a thing to someone I love so much. Even after we had been broken up it took me a while to so much as look at some guy and think 'oh he's cute'. To me you were...well... are perfect and no one will ever compare to you. It's been a little over two months now... I've tried dating one person I really did like, but it just wasn't working. I couldn't give myself to him 100% while he was giving me 110. I'm not over you yet... but i'm trying. Silly me still holds on to a thread of hope that someday soon you'll come back to me. I'd do anything for a second chance and I'd do anything to be better for you. It's like the best part about me was you and now that you're not here i'm just not...right. I make stupid decisions, I over-think, and allow myself to be used & abused. Now I get angry easily, i'm upset all the time, and I can't get old memories out of my mind. I hate myself without you. I'm trying my best to be the better person I was when with you but I can't find the strength nor the reason, I can't do it alone. You were the one and only who made me want to make a change in my life... Now without you I can't hold on to it. Enough of my self pity... I love you and I'm sorry. Hope you have an amazing life and find the best of happiness.

-Alexandria