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About Me Premium Member New Artist acid--burnFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Dear Someone, I needed to get this off my chest,

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 16, 2009, 3:33 AM


In the beginning I never saw us as something big. To me we were nothing to get serious about... but somewhere along the way I fell unbelievably in love with you. I know I wasn't always the best at showing it, but I really tried more than I ever had before. I realize now the moments I pushed you away, quite honestly I was terrified of me loving you so much. I was so afraid to lose you and somehow I did. I will always love you more than you can even imagine. To this day I don't understand how I could have let you let me go so easily that night. I truly regret it but at the same time i'm not sure there was much I could do... Now it seems our time is up and your mind is made up, we're over. I miss you quite terribly but i'm trying my hardest to keep away. I can't help myself from making small talk every now and then but i'm trying. Each time I see you I want to cry and wrap my arms around you, I restrain myself. Each night as I lay restlessly crying over you and I want to pick up my phone to call you, I hold myself back. From what i've heard you've moved on nicely, I bet she's beautiful. She's yours so she's got to be. You deserve more than the world has to offer and I wish I had been good enough to meet that. About a month after you ended us I was told that you were telling people I had cheated on you... this broke my heart even more. I could never cheat on you, I would never have the strength to do such a thing to someone I love so much. Even after we had been broken up it took me a while to so much as look at some guy and think 'oh he's cute'. To me you were...well... are perfect and no one will ever compare to you. It's been a little over two months now... I've tried dating one person I really did like, but it just wasn't working. I couldn't give myself to him 100% while he was giving me 110. I'm not over you yet... but i'm trying. Silly me still holds on to a thread of hope that someday soon you'll come back to me. I'd do anything for a second chance and I'd do anything to be better for you. It's like the best part about me was you and now that you're not here i'm just not...right. I make stupid decisions, I over-think, and allow myself to be used & abused. Now I get angry easily, i'm upset all the time, and I can't get old memories out of my mind. I hate myself without you. I'm trying my best to be the better person I was when with you but I can't find the strength nor the reason, I can't do it alone. You were the one and only who made me want to make a change in my life... Now without you I can't hold on to it. Enough of my self pity... I love you and I'm sorry. Hope you have an amazing life and find the best of happiness.

-Alexandria

  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Cinematic Sunrise
  • Drinking: Cherry Pepsi

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: iowa
  • Interests: photography, literature, art, anime & manga, friends, video games, random things and whatever el
  • Favourite movie: 101 Dalmations, Nightmare before Christmas, Volver, Alice in Wonderland & others.
  • Favourite genre of music: pretty much anything but country (yuck)
  • MP3 player of choice: ipod nano
  • Favourite game: monopoly & the sims
  • Favourite gaming platform: playstation 2

Comments


:icondepth02:
thx dear for the fav :hug:

--
visit my gallery [here] :love: :w00t:
:iconmistersister18:
Hello Beautiful Lady - I cannot thank you enough for the lovely gift...You are officially the coolest person ever. Visit me sometime @ Video Place, Im always there tuesday and thursday nights......and almost anyother time. ILOVEYOU BUNCHES :hug:

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i wont live to see another day, i swear its true cause a girl like you is hard to find.
:iconacid--burn:
No problema! :D and I'll try to come by tomorrow ^^ LOVE YOU TOO!
:iconmistersister18:
:hug::hug::hug:

hehehe. i'll see you then perhaps! :woohoo:

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i wont live to see another day, i swear its true cause a girl like you is hard to find.
:iconcrimsonology:
Thanks for the watch
:iconacid--burn:
no problem ^^ i like your 365 days project, caught my interest :)
:icondean-blanchard:
np. Is that a real gun?
:iconacid--burn:
nope :P
just a spray painted
squirt gun. haha ^^;
:icontrishvandenberg:
hi....


Many thanks :hug:


:iconsweethugplz:

~trish~

--
“Love is just Love", it can never be explained.

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